I’ve been reading all these articles on how to survive with just 16-gigabytes on your iPhone -- but the truth is you won’t survive. And if you do, it will be by making a bunch of sacrifices that totally defeat the point of getting an iPhone in the first place.
I get it: The cheapest iPhone sounds like such a deal! Especially the most recent iPhone SE, which starts at just $399. That’s exactly the cost of a ticket to Coachella. And unlike going to Coachella, buying a new iPhone won’t get you trampled by rabid 16-year-olds wearing flower crowns.
Apple’s cheapest iPhones, however, continue to sport only 16-gigabytes of storage. Which is totally offensive to me and should actually be considered a crime against humanity. Do you know exactly how minuscule 16 gigs is? 16-gigs isn’t even enough to store the Hunger Games saga in HD on your iPhone. And that’s just 4 freakin’ movies. So you won’t even get to see the part where it’s revealed that Luke Skywalker is her father.
The 16-gig iPhone is so useless that there are survival guides for people considering getting it. It’s like, how to make the most out of having nothing. But Seriously, these survival guides have major problems. For example, one of these guides says to just not record video in 4K or take Live Photos -- because they take up way too much storage space.
So, basically, we should avoid the two biggest features on the new iPhones? Just like not use them at all... Okay, got it.
How about I really follow that advice and don’t ever take videos or pictures period. Who needs an iPhone to take photos anyway? And I’ll just forget about listening to music or playing games or using an iPhone in any sort of cool way.
Another hint is to sign up for iCloud. Genius. Except, well, that also costs money if you want to store more than 5-gigs. And even then, you’re going to have to pull your apps and media down from iCloud and store them locally if you want to use them. Basically, its going to be a full-time juggling act, bringing down stuff from iCloud to use it and uploading it back again when you need the space back. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Then there’s that little tiny fact that iCloud just isn’t as secure as your iPhone. Your naked pictures on iCloud will. get. hacked. Just ask Kirsten Dunst.
As a very last resort, you can always just move to China. No, seriously CNET told their readers to buy a $1200-flight to China, so they can go to a repair shop there that will upgrade their 16-gig iPhone to 128-gigs for $60. Um….Are they ok? Do they know that paying $200 more will get you an iPhone with 128-gigs and without having to fly to China?
The bottom line is getting an iPhone with 16-gigabytes just isn’t worth it. No matter how you look at it. Maybe if people stop buying the 16 gig versions, Apple will stop making them. Just save up the extra $100 to get 64-gigabytes of internal storage. It’s not like you need to go to Coachella anyway.